The Dream of a Contemplative Life

One of my alter ego identities (I have a few!!) is that of a contemplative monastic, living in seclusion and following the ancient rhythms of soul time. The word ‘hour’ comes from the Greek ’hora’ which refers to a measure of the soul, and not a measure of time. Each hour would then come bearing its own gifts and deep meaning which I would spend reflective time excavating. The name of my monastic settlement would be The Monastery of the Sacred Feminine and it would be set in the midst of a forest, with small huts sprinkled here and there around the area, and inhabited by other contemplatives like me. We would converge twice daily to meet in the communal sacred space, there to sing songs of praise and thanksgiving, expressions of our gratitude where each morning we would rise and learn anew what it is to be grateful just to be alive, to awaken and greet the new day as the gift that it is. Together we would re-affirm our commitment to opening our innermost selves to allow the breath of the Divine Feminine to blow through our souls. The rhythms and repetitions of the chants and bells would wash over us and draw us up into the heart of She Who Is. Such a mystical beginning to the day would water our souls with an underground river of love and mercy and carry us through the hours that lie awaiting our presence to them.Parting company we would each walk slowly and mindfully back to our individual holy places, wherein we have created our own ritual spaces containing totems and talismans on our altars that act as reminders of the Divine. This is the place where we would balance our time with meditation, reading, writing, and holy leisure when whatever it is we create would be done as a dedication and gift to the Sacred. As it comes from Her, it returns to Her. In such a place as this we would be already living in paradise, because our time would not be the time of the outside world but the time of the soul, and so our souls would be linked together in a luminous web of connections between the sensible world and the other world, that which some call heaven. And so it is that I would walk in 2 worlds, keeping one foot in each. The sensible, everyday world would beckon forth those who would care for it for a couple of hours every morning, and this would require leaving my cell to work in the fields or the kitchens. Meals also would call us forth to be eaten silently and with care and attention for the gift that they are. Throughout the day the bells would ring to remind us, time after time after time, to listen, to hear the lesson of the hour, and to look deep inside ourselves to see if our intentions are pure; to see to what extent our wishes and desires are in alignment with the Love of the Eternal Feminine. Later when dusk turns to darkness we would meet again in the sacred space and together sing and chant our gratefulness for the day that She Who Is shared with us, before retiring for meditation and interior searching of our deepest inner selves, to review our actions of the day and the intentions that lay behind them. Then we would lie down upon our little wooden beds and resting our heads upon the pillows, close our eyes and place ourselves, body and souls, into the hands of the Divine Feminine.

Meditation

Sitting still,breathing deeply,

empty mind,

floating in a sea of tranquillity.

Occasional clouds,

unbidden thoughts,

pass by,

moving on

and out of the picture.

Diving deep

leaving the surface behind,

I surrender to the Presence.

Black Madonna booklist

The following books focus in the main on topics other than the Black Madonna. Most information can only be gleaned in passing while reading on other topics, either goddess related or on the subject of Mary the mother of God.Charlene Spretnak, MISSING MARY (Palgrave MacMillan, 2004)

—A polemical work which argues for the reinstatement of Mary the Mother of God as the Queen of Heaven. Her argument leans heavily on the similarities between Mary and the cosmic matrix of the Great Mother. Looks briefly also at the Black Madonnas. Inspiring read.

Sally Cunneen, IN SEARCH OF MARY (Random House, 1996)

—Traces all the different manifestations of Mary throughout history and viewing her through the lenses of religion, art, psychology and anthropology. Includs a brief look at the Black Madonnas. Fascinating story and easy to read.

Ean Begg, THE CULT OF THE BLACK VIRGIN (New edition due out in September 2006)

—Examines Black Madonnas form their pagan origins to their contemporary understandings. One of the classics on the subject.

Caitlin Matthews, SOPHIA, GODDESS OF WISDOM, BRIDE OF GOD (Quest Books, 2001)

—Interprets the Black Madonna or Black Virgin as the author prefers to call her, in the light of the Black Goddess. However only mentions Black Virgin briefly.

China Galland, LONGING FOR DARKNESS: TARA AND THE BLACK MADONNA (Penguin, 1991)

—One woman’s search for the Sacred Feminine and how her search brought her to the recognition of the many links between the Black Madonna and the goddess Tara.

WEB SITE LINK:

http://campus.udayton.edu/mary//meditations/blackmdn.html–Excellent source of information about the Black Madonna. Further links at end of web page. Worth checking out. Also links to images.

Goddess Booklist–recommended reading

What follows is a short list of books and web sites that I found most useful so far, on my quest for the Goddess.Carol C. Christ, LAUGHTER OF APHRODITE———-, ODYSSEY WITH THE GODDESS (Continuum, 1995)

———-, REBIRTH OF THE GODDESS

———-, SHE WHO CHANGES (Palgrave MacMillan, 2003)

—Carol C. Christ has written a series of books charting her growth and experiences with Goddess spirituality. While the first 2 show her move from God to Goddess, Rebirth of the Goddess is the first systematic feminist theology of the Goddess. She Who Changes outlines the intellectual underpinnings upon which her theology is based. Obviously the first 2 titles above are the easiest to read, although the latter are not difficult given Carol’s wonderful ability to make a difficult subject accessible. I would highly recommend any and all of these books as a way into the whole area of Goddess spirituality and theology.

Tikva Frymer-Kensky, IN THE WAKE OF THE GODDESS (Fawcett Columbine, 1992)

—This is a book of feminist scholarship on the subject of ancient pagan goddesses and how they were gradually overthrown by male gods, and ultimately by the biblical god. Not your average bedtime reading, but worth it all the same!

Caitlin Matthews, SOPHIA, GODDESS OF WISDOM, BRIDE OF GOD (Quest Books, 2001)

—A book written by a well known teacher of Celtic spirituality about the many faces of the Goddess as She has been manifested in the Western tradition as Sophia, Goddess of Wisdom. One such manifestation looked at is the Black Madonna.

Rosemary Radford Ruether, GODDESSES AND THE DIVINE FEMININE (University of California Press, 2005)

—This would be an essential book as far as I am concerned! Rosemary is a feminist theologian long engaged in theological enquiry in feminist, environmental and related issues. Here she presents the definitive account of goddesses from prehistoric times to contemporary interpretations. However be warned–she examines the mythology carefully resulting in the rejection of certain premises that would be considered almost sacrosanct in some goddess circles, eg the myth of a peaceful matriarchal society that predated patriarchy. Personally I would consider that while such myths are very consoling, it is always better to be open to the truth whatever the ‘truth’ is understood to be at a particular point in time.

China Galland, LONGING FOR DARKNESS: TARA AND THE BLACK MADONNA (Penguin, 1991)

——–, THE BOND BETWEEN WOMEN (Riverhead Books, 199

—One woman’s search for the Sacred Feminine and where the search brought her, including the goddesses she ‘met‘ on her journey. Both books very easy to read as well as being informative. Recommended.

Sue Monk Kidd, THE DANCE OF THE DISSIDENT DAUGHTER (Harper Collins, 2002)

—Absolutely essential reading for anyone either on the journey, or about to embark on the quest for the Sacred Feminine. Refers to goddesses in the context of her personal search.

GODDESS WEBSITES

http://spiralgoddess.com—A wonderful site with enough to keep you entertained and amused for a long time! Pour yourself a cup of coffee or herbal tea, pull up your seat and enjoy!!http://www.imagesofdivinity.org—This is China Galland’s web site. Wonderful images of the Black Madonna.http://sagewoman.com—A goddess based magazine. Interesting reading.

Introduction to Black Madonnas and the Expression of a Dream

The statues known as Black Madonnas are a particular type of statue of Mary, the Mother of God. Usually measuring about 3 feet in height, they were carved from a single piece of lightweight wood which rendered them easy to carry in processions, reminiscent of the processions for the Goddess. Many of these statues were painted, the ones in black being associated with the greatest number of miracles. There is a striking resemblance between the images of these statues and the images of Byzantine icons of the Holy Mother, notably the look of compassion that is found in many.The usual story related about the origins of the Black Madonnas is that they were found by chance in a natural setting, eg, a cave or near a river. The story usually goes that when the statue was removed and placed into a church that it escaped and returned repeatedly to where it was found originally. In the end the church tended to be built on the site where the Black Madonna was found.

Folklore usually told that these statues were not carved by human hands, having instead being created by natural forces, which then embued them with the elemental energies of life and death. The Black Madonnas are a concrete expression of the divine which the individual person can literally reach out and touch. In this way they are a continuation of the ultimate meaning of the Goddess statues and thus have their roots in them. Indeed for many of the statues it is impossible to say whether they were originally Mary or a Goddess. It is likely that many of them were pagan in origin and then ‘borrowed’ later by Christian churches.

There has been much debate over the years about why and how the Black Madonnas were black, whether they had always been so or whether they became that way later as time wreaked its ravages upon them. But no consensus of opinion has yet been made thereby leaving open the possibility that the blackness of Black Madonnas stand for the life giving properties of the fertile earth symbolized in the Goddess.

Perhaps if we follow the trail of the Black Madonna she might take us to some surprising places, places beyond the boundaries that tradition has attempted to encase her in, and in the very process of overcoming her captors, she may teach us also how to be whole and free again.

Thresholds

THRESHOLDS

The threshold is a liminal space,

a time of transition,

a walking between two worlds –

one a spirit world

where soul resides in perfect harmony

with all of life and every living being;

and an awakening world

where who I am

becomes a question

that there is no felt need to answer–

an open space of ambiguity.

Now is the time to learn to live

a life of integrity.

Entering the Cave of Ancients

Entering the Cave of Ancients was like reaching the end of a long spiral that wound downwards, deeper and deeper, inwards, towards the centre of Mother earth’s womb, which was the room that I found myself in. The Cave of the Ancients is a liminal place, a threshold space. It marks both the ending of one journey and the beginning of another. So it was that I found myself standing in the centre of the Cave, having arrived here after a long and arduous journey, which was a pathway into a new realm, a threshold place, ‘an airy space’, as Luce Irigaray writes in her book Sexes and Genealogies –’’Once we have left the waters of the womb, we have to construct a space for ourselves in the air for the rest of our lives on earth…To construct and inhabit our airy spaces is essential. It is the space of bodily autonomy, of free breath, free speech and song, of performing on the stage of life.’’

This is no enclosure designed to silence and curtail the wisdom of women! It is more akin to Teresa of Avila’s Interior Castle –

‘’Consider our soul to be a castle, made entirely out f diamond, or out of very clear crystal, in which there are many rooms.’’ (Interior Castle, I,I,1)

This threshold space was like being present to a living oxymoron - an open enclosure, an enclosed space without walls, without limits. And here was I standing in it.

An ancient priestess emerged from the darkness. She was carrying a golden chalice with a jewel encrusted lid on top. As she walked towards me she slowly lifted the lid from the cup. A beautiful butterfly of many hues fluttered upwards and out. It flew towards me and encircled me numerous times. Each time I grew more and more drowsy, until finally unable to stay awake any longer I let myself fall gently down on to the soft, damp and welcoming earth. It was then that the most wondrous and terrifying vision appeared to me. At first all was covered in gloom. Then the ground beneath began to move, gently at first and then more violently. Clinging to a rock at the side of the cave I watched in horror as the earth split open But then the darkness was dispelled by a bright light that appeared to have the contours of a woman’s figure, with no features visible. The luminous figure rose higher and higher until at last she left the earth behind. She spun round and round, faster and faster as if she were dancing a wild and glorious dance of life and energy. And as she danced the earth sealed up again, returning to what it had been before. Then she spoke: ’’I am you. You are me. I am that part of you that you are afraid of. Be not afraid. You have buried me for too long. It is time to set me free. I am the fire in the centre of your being. I am rising like the sap in springtime. Feel me run through your veins. I will erupt and flow through you. Do not be afraid. Yet you are right to feel fear. Well then feel me and know that I am here deep inside of you. You cannot bury me again. The time has come to let me break free. Be free.’’

And with that she raised her light-filled arms and screamed a high pitched cry and disappeared.

When I awoke there was only me and the butterfly which came to rest on a stone nearby and as I moved closer to see better I saw also a cocoon not far off and knew that I was the substance lying in the cocoon awaiting re-birth.

—The spiral goes on spiralling. The journey continues.

In Defence of Dreams

What, if any, is the connection between the Book of Dreams and the Book of Life? Are hopes and aspirations real in the sense that they are like energy waves that can travel along some metaphysical pathway from my mind (or is it my heart that they come from?) to be felt at some unknown level in the universe and there to be transformed into new energy which finds its way back home along the previously travelled path? Is this what the metaphor ‘bringing the soul back home’ means? Is it really that the journey out and the journey back are roads going nowhere, just spiralling staircases that sometimes I climb up or slip down? Is this all there is to it? Is this it?But I want my dreams. And I want to write them down in the Book of Dreams. So it is that I announce loudly like the crier standing in the middle of the city square, that I choose to believe that what I dream of shapes the road I walk on. It is my dream that plants this tree here and that flower there. My dreams don‘t make them grow, they have no power over life and death. These are forces that have the power to destroy my dreams and make me question their validity. But still it remains that it is my desire to dream them into existence that might drop the seed in that exact place. After that I must needs wait and see if there will be anything to be seen.

And what is my dream? I want to be good, pure of heart, and strong and courageous enough to have faith and hope that my dreams will come true, even if it seems as if the whole world conspires to make it not so. I don’t know if there is a God or Goddess, but I hope that God knows I’m good.

Descending

The time has cometo descend and find out

who I am.

To let all the busyness fall away,

leave the ‘to do’ list undone

for a while.

Letting it go,

drifting away,

floating on the currents of the lost sea.

Lie there, empty, naked, vulnerable.

Not knowing,

not wanting to know,

not needing to know.

Just be-ing.

Forget the cry, ‘I am somebody’.

Remember I am no one, nobody.

Only spirit drifting in a vast universe of nothingness.

I embrace the emptiness that surrounds me

and let it fill my soul.

I breathe deeply from the essence of via negativa.

Becoming open to receiving the gift

that the black hole may bequeath.

It may creep up slowly and gently,

or it may arrive hurtling

like a meteorite from an exploding star.

One way or another the metamorphosis will happen,

whether I will it or not.

A Fragment

Before descending into the opening that holds Mother Earth’s deepest mysteries, I shall leave behind a token at the entrance to Her womb. This fragment of my soul is a prayer to She Who Is, that I may learn Her secrets of birth and re-birth.Dark Goddess of the moist and fertile earth,

Black Madonna who sees and knows all,

Take me now

And assume me into Your heart and soul.

Wash away my fear and shame

In the underground rivers of Your love and compassion.

Drag me from my hiding place

And teach me how to live with courage.